Yesterday, Monday, I went to the dialysis clinic to drop off some paperwork and leave a sample to make sure I didn't have an infection. I nurse says to me, "how have you been feeling". I don't lie and tell her like crap. I am tired all the time. I have no energy to do anything. She ponders for a moment and takes my blood pressure, 84/64. She is shocked to see how low it is, then being the smart ass I am, says "well it was too high a few months ago, make up your mind!!". She ponders again and says, are you too dry? (too try means that the dialysis is taking off too much liquid therefore my blood pressure lowers and I am more tired). I suggested we weigh me and see what the scale says... well, lets just put it this way, I now have met the weight requirement for the Pancreas Transplant as well. Exciting? I thought so. Sooo.... I call my coordinator at UNMC. I tell her the great news and she says to me.... you know you can wait to have your Kidney Transplant with your Pancreas one. Huh??? I was trying to clarify what she was saying. What it came down to was you can have one surgery, one recovery, knock it all out at one time. Sweet!! But then you have to look at both sides...
If I got the KP together it may take up to a year for both to happen. Can I, the most impatient person wait that long for a "maybe"? The KP would only be one surgery that would be over and done with on one day... like. But then I start calling Plumb and every nurse I know. Here is their side... A living donor kidney is much more healthy. If you wait for a KP Transplant the Kidney may have been in a deceased body for up to 48 hours. So that would hinder the health and well being of the kidney. I mean I have spent the last day going back and forth on such a topic. Some people say its up to me. Others say just wait, you won't have to have your aunt go under surgery, and you can just wait the few months it may or may not take. So then I analyze and analyze again and again and again. Do I save Aunt Kim the surgery? Do I wait the time it may or may not take to have a Pancreas and Kidney Transplant?? I am 32 years old... who makes these decisions?? I do.
I spoke to Plumb. I love him, not in a weird way, but he gets me. He knows I am a quitter, that the current dialysis isn't working as well as he had hoped, and he knows that with time I would give up. (that is a correct statement) Some people are fighters, they will do Chemo for years, they will let their hair come and go. They will do whatever it may take them to keep going, but I am being honest, I do not have that drive. I spoke to a friend today that said, if you were given a gift on 100,000 dollars, would you wait 6 to 8 months to maybe a year for a gift of 200,000 dollars?? God no. I would take the money and run. When I gave this analogy to Plumb he laughed and agreed. I talked to Aunt Kim and she is on board... When I get her Kidney on October 26, at about 9am, I will start to regain the energy and stamina I will need for my second surgery of a Pancreas Transplant.
My main fear of the entire thing was running out of sick time and vacation or using too much FMLA, where will money come from?? Hell, Kidney Klassic II... bigger and better!!
This was a really tough decision to make, and with the help of all my friends and family I now realize that I have been given an amazing gift and that I should not reject it or feel as if I "owe" something in return. I promise to live a long and healthy life... so you suckers are stuck with me!! Any problems, address them to someone who cares! :)
Hope that you are all doing well... enjoy this time of year, something about fall and the changing of the leaves makes me feel at peace. (OMG.... that was so F'in cheesy, wayyyyyy too much medication!!)
September 28, 2010
September 25, 2010
My Bad....
My bad. I haven't written in a long ass time. I really didn't want to tell people a date for the surgery, but as of 3:26pm on Friday September, 24th it is official.... Aunt Kim and I are having a Kidney Transplant on Tuesday, October 26th. Can you FREAKING believe it?!??!? Some people wait years for this to happen, and I have been waiting less then one year. That just is such an amazing statement to say, less then one year and someone is taking weeks out of their life, AND giving away an internal organ!! Holy Crappers!!
The KC Klassic was so much fun!! The golf course was amazing, and I am blessed to have so many people that love me from near and far. Those KC girls know how important they are to me, and I need to say thank you time and time again!!! Looking forward to KC Klassic 2 when we need to raise money for the Pancreas Part of this adventure.
I am still working at Goodwill, only (barely) 32 hours a week. I have ran out of sick time, so money is starting to worry me a bit. I know that with all of the fundraisers I am ok for a few months, but I still stress... It's what I do, and people who know me, know I overanalyze... A LOT!!! I did have to "quit" Blue. My body physically couldn't handle it anymore. Blue has been great to hold my job and let me return when I am ready. Thanks Blue!!
Other then that, I really do NOTHING. I work, come home, lay down and watch TV. I then get up, set up dialysis, then go to bed... I have mentioned time and time again I look forward to the time I once again have enough energy to socialize with people.
I feel fine, just tired. On the weekends I usually sleep over 12 hours, and still do NOTHING other then sit on the couch.
I did snap on someone the other day. I came to an after work event, had my cranberry juice with a lime... all about the look! :) I sat, I socialize, I wanted to pass out. When I got up to leave, she said, "whatever, you can stay its only 5 o'clock"... I literally told her to go F herself. For everyone that knows me, knows that I push myself to the limits... so when I say to my friends I am "tired" or "i need to go" please just let me. Please know I have pushed myself enough and when I say its time i go, Its time i go.
Anyway... I don't know how the surgery will go. According to ER and Grey's Anatomy Aunt Kim will be in one room, and I will be in another. To tell you the truth, when I was hearing all of this information I was singing in my head. I was not listening. Hopefully we will review the information prior to surgery. Aunt Kim should be in the hospital for about 3 to 4 days, as I will be there for one week. Recovery for me should be 4 to 8 weeks. I plan on being back to work in 2 weeks!! :) HA HA HA - - KIDDING!!
Other questions people may have... where will I go after hospital? Back to Schracks. My mom and sister will have to come there to help out. I need my bed and my things. Will I still have the tube? Yes, I will have the tube in my belly for some time to assure the transplant took, and I am going to be Ok. What can people do to help? I would love it if my aunt and her family had some food. Gift cards. Gas Cards. Prayers. Support.
Oh, I also wanted to mention that I am running out of FMLA. I use 16 hours a week, and since I have been hospitalized 3 times my 12 weeks are coming to a close. My supervisor and HR department have been amazing, but so people don't freak out, I may lose my job. I of course don't worry about not being rehired, but I sure will miss the insurance. Yes, yes, I have medicare, but 2 forms of insurance are better then one!! :)
Anyway... I am done. I will be posting more often as the surgery takes place, and when I am whacked the F out, I will nicely ask Patti to update!! Again, thanks for thoughts and prayers. Thanks for all the well wishes. I wish I was able to thank everyone one by one, but that just won't be happening. Please know that all of your thoughts and prayers have been noticed and so appreciated. Please send prayers and well wishes to Kim Mittermeier as well... she too is playing a crutial role in my success. Well, she is the only real reason this is happening!! Thanks Aunt Kim!! You are loved by so many people, especially me.
Hope everyone is well... give your kids hugs and kisses from Auntie M and tell them I will be visiting over the next few months... along with my third kidney!!! :)
M
The KC Klassic was so much fun!! The golf course was amazing, and I am blessed to have so many people that love me from near and far. Those KC girls know how important they are to me, and I need to say thank you time and time again!!! Looking forward to KC Klassic 2 when we need to raise money for the Pancreas Part of this adventure.
I am still working at Goodwill, only (barely) 32 hours a week. I have ran out of sick time, so money is starting to worry me a bit. I know that with all of the fundraisers I am ok for a few months, but I still stress... It's what I do, and people who know me, know I overanalyze... A LOT!!! I did have to "quit" Blue. My body physically couldn't handle it anymore. Blue has been great to hold my job and let me return when I am ready. Thanks Blue!!
Other then that, I really do NOTHING. I work, come home, lay down and watch TV. I then get up, set up dialysis, then go to bed... I have mentioned time and time again I look forward to the time I once again have enough energy to socialize with people.
I feel fine, just tired. On the weekends I usually sleep over 12 hours, and still do NOTHING other then sit on the couch.
I did snap on someone the other day. I came to an after work event, had my cranberry juice with a lime... all about the look! :) I sat, I socialize, I wanted to pass out. When I got up to leave, she said, "whatever, you can stay its only 5 o'clock"... I literally told her to go F herself. For everyone that knows me, knows that I push myself to the limits... so when I say to my friends I am "tired" or "i need to go" please just let me. Please know I have pushed myself enough and when I say its time i go, Its time i go.
Anyway... I don't know how the surgery will go. According to ER and Grey's Anatomy Aunt Kim will be in one room, and I will be in another. To tell you the truth, when I was hearing all of this information I was singing in my head. I was not listening. Hopefully we will review the information prior to surgery. Aunt Kim should be in the hospital for about 3 to 4 days, as I will be there for one week. Recovery for me should be 4 to 8 weeks. I plan on being back to work in 2 weeks!! :) HA HA HA - - KIDDING!!
Other questions people may have... where will I go after hospital? Back to Schracks. My mom and sister will have to come there to help out. I need my bed and my things. Will I still have the tube? Yes, I will have the tube in my belly for some time to assure the transplant took, and I am going to be Ok. What can people do to help? I would love it if my aunt and her family had some food. Gift cards. Gas Cards. Prayers. Support.
Oh, I also wanted to mention that I am running out of FMLA. I use 16 hours a week, and since I have been hospitalized 3 times my 12 weeks are coming to a close. My supervisor and HR department have been amazing, but so people don't freak out, I may lose my job. I of course don't worry about not being rehired, but I sure will miss the insurance. Yes, yes, I have medicare, but 2 forms of insurance are better then one!! :)
Anyway... I am done. I will be posting more often as the surgery takes place, and when I am whacked the F out, I will nicely ask Patti to update!! Again, thanks for thoughts and prayers. Thanks for all the well wishes. I wish I was able to thank everyone one by one, but that just won't be happening. Please know that all of your thoughts and prayers have been noticed and so appreciated. Please send prayers and well wishes to Kim Mittermeier as well... she too is playing a crutial role in my success. Well, she is the only real reason this is happening!! Thanks Aunt Kim!! You are loved by so many people, especially me.
Hope everyone is well... give your kids hugs and kisses from Auntie M and tell them I will be visiting over the next few months... along with my third kidney!!! :)
M
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