Holy Last 24 hours....

Yesterday, Monday, I went to the dialysis clinic to drop off some paperwork and leave a sample to make sure I didn't have an infection. I nurse says to me, "how have you been feeling". I don't lie and tell her like crap. I am tired all the time. I have no energy to do anything. She ponders for a moment and takes my blood pressure, 84/64. She is shocked to see how low it is, then being the smart ass I am, says "well it was too high a few months ago, make up your mind!!". She ponders again and says, are you too dry? (too try means that the dialysis is taking off too much liquid therefore my blood pressure lowers and I am more tired). I suggested we weigh me and see what the scale says... well, lets just put it this way, I now have met the weight requirement for the Pancreas Transplant as well. Exciting? I thought so. Sooo.... I call my coordinator at UNMC. I tell her the great news and she says to me.... you know you can wait to have your Kidney Transplant with your Pancreas one. Huh??? I was trying to clarify what she was saying. What it came down to was you can have one surgery, one recovery, knock it all out at one time. Sweet!! But then you have to look at both sides...
If I got the KP together it may take up to a year for both to happen. Can I, the most impatient person wait that long for a "maybe"? The KP would only be one surgery that would be over and done with on one day... like. But then I start calling Plumb and every nurse I know. Here is their side... A living donor kidney is much more healthy. If you wait for a KP Transplant the Kidney may have been in a deceased body for up to 48 hours. So that would hinder the health and well being of the kidney. I mean I have spent the last day going back and forth on such a topic. Some people say its up to me. Others say just wait, you won't have to have your aunt go under surgery, and you can just wait the few months it may or may not take. So then I analyze and analyze again and again and again. Do I save Aunt Kim the surgery? Do I wait the time it may or may not take to have a Pancreas and Kidney Transplant?? I am 32 years old... who makes these decisions?? I do.

I spoke to Plumb. I love him, not in a weird way, but he gets me. He knows I am a quitter, that the current dialysis isn't working as well as he had hoped, and he knows that with time I would give up. (that is a correct statement) Some people are fighters, they will do Chemo for years, they will let their hair come and go. They will do whatever it may take them to keep going, but I am being honest, I do not have that drive. I spoke to a friend today that said, if you were given a gift on 100,000 dollars, would you wait 6 to 8 months to maybe a year for a gift of 200,000 dollars?? God no. I would take the money and run. When I gave this analogy to Plumb he laughed and agreed. I talked to Aunt Kim and she is on board... When I get her Kidney on October 26, at about 9am, I will start to regain the energy and stamina I will need for my second surgery of a Pancreas Transplant.

My main fear of the entire thing was running out of sick time and vacation or using too much FMLA, where will money come from?? Hell, Kidney Klassic II... bigger and better!!

This was a really tough decision to make, and with the help of all my friends and family I now realize that I have been given an amazing gift and that I should not reject it or feel as if I "owe" something in return. I promise to live a long and healthy life... so you suckers are stuck with me!! Any problems, address them to someone who cares! :)

Hope that you are all doing well... enjoy this time of year, something about fall and the changing of the leaves makes me feel at peace. (OMG.... that was so F'in cheesy, wayyyyyy too much medication!!)