2nd verse, will it be same as the first?

2nd verse, will it be as same as the first?

I started this blog over four year ago and haven't written in it since March of 2011. And during the 2011 post, it wasn't for me, it was for a friend. I feel as if I haven't needed prayer or well wishes because I have been doing good. I have set goals and met them. Over the last 3 years and 4 months I have lived a life that I didn't realize I was ever capable of living. Well, Meggie is back, and might be looking for another Hank
I am all about anniversaries, I remember dates, events, and birthday's like its part of who I am supposed to be. On August 6, 2011, 31 military men, including a friend, Matt Mason died when a Chinook helicopter was shot down. On Tuesday, August 6, 2014, three years later, many close friends remembered our dear friend and American hero who was killed in action.  We talked of how many medals he earned, about the triathlons we have done in his honor, and the lives he will miss growing up and the boys he won't be able to play catch with. We changed profile pictures, said prayers and sent well wishes to the group of brothers who host the Cowboy Up Triathlon in Matt's honor every year.
This year on August 6, 2014,  I decided to test my blood sugar.  I hadn't been feeling well. I had all of the common "diabetic" symptoms that I chose to "forget". Constant thirst, frequent urination, so damn tired - all the time!!! Well, my blood sugar was over 450. At that moment a nightmare was coming true - Hank the Pank was not working... or something very wrong was going on.  I wish I didn't test my blood sugar, but if I didn't, who knows what would have happened.

So Wednesday goes like this... 
Test my blood sugar, freak out, call Transplant Coordinator Team "go to ER"
Check in at UNMC ER and they test blood sugar and its over 700 - (so high their machine can't read it) at this time my mind is doing that oh F my life -- what the F is going to happen now, is he dead, can he be saved?? over 700 is like death to any pancreas, let alone a transplanted one.
Get ultrasound of Pancreas and Kidney 
Go to 5th floor at Clarkson Tower - I am put on an Insulin drip to slowly bring down my sugars
Please know it is now 2:30 on Wednesday...
Dr. Miles (Kidney Transplant Team) comes in and tells me "man, i have no clue what this is. your levels were great on the 17th of July when you last came in for labs. you have a lot of ketones in your urine (fuck... that isn't good) so we don't know what do really say about the Pancreas. We will have Transplant surgeons comes in and talk about a plan"
Dr. Morris... "well, that sandwich looks great! you going to eat all of it?" (you bet your ass) Well, we don't want to call it rejection, but there isn't a lot of blood flow going in and out. There might be a clot, might be this, that, blah, blah...   we will do a Pancreas Biopsy on Thursday morning and we will know more at that time.
Diabetes team comes in and starts talking about an Insulin class, reteaching me.... I start thinking second verse, same as the first...
Thursday
Biopsy at 8am
Lot of testing of blood sugar. Every hour. Fingers poked and poked again...
Doctors come in and report same as before, "just waiting on result of biopsy"
although they are "waiting" on results, everyone including myself is preparing to hear that Hank the Pank is no more, and that we will someday restart the motions of getting back on the transplant list
Friday
It is just now 9:30, I am off of the Insulin drip. I have given myself insulin injections, just to make sure I remember how to do it :)
Now we just sit and wait for any and all results of the Pancreas biopsy. Hell, this could all be a bad joke, and a massive infection. Over the last 3 days of preparing myself that Hank has started an immediate shut down is actually happening.

Patti and I have been looking at this in a few ways - all are very true
1. It sucks
2. Its better than Aunt Kim's kidney shutting down
3.because she would be PISSED OFF!!!
4.dialysis would be a buzzkill and would take me away from so much more than Insulin will
5.Pancreas Transplant list is so much shorter than a Kidney one
6.Another awesome fundraiser? I say no, but she and others love a reason to party...

I just wanted to get all information out there so people would understan maybe this is why i have been acting so random, not being able to focus.......



AND literally the doctor walked in and said it's done. Hank is over. Rest in Peace. Here we go again....

Head up. Face forward. Lots of Xanex and back to work on Monday...  Let's do this!