... the day after

Well, night one wasn't the best. I had to page the nurse because the machine said, "low flow". I didn't know what to do, so I paged her and she said that was ok and walked me through how to fix it. I plugged in right about 11 and paced around a long time. I walked to the bathroom and attempted to reach the fridge so I would be able to get popcicles. The cord wasn't long enough for that, so I just went one night without my "snack".

I was able to fall asleep after I talked myself down. Ha ha. I just had to remember this was new and after a few days it wouldn't be so freaky!! Did I sleep well? NO. NO. NO. I had several odd dreams. One dream consisted of my standing up and my catheter fell out. Another dream was I came "unplugged". And my favorite one was when the power went out and I was walking around in circles and got caught up in the cords. I am a freak!! The machine went through 4 "cycles" which include a fill, a dwell, a drain, and then repeat. This is all done in a 8 hour time period. The machine isn't loud, and once I get used to it, I don't see it as a problem.

This morning... this morning sucked! I woke up in horrible pain. I felt like my bones had lost all of its calcuim and strength. I like had to hug myself super tight so the pain would be less and less. That lasted for at least 45 solid minutes and I was like "what the hell is going on". The pain wasn't as painful as time went on, but I can still feel the tightness in my chest. I know that sounds bad, but I explained to the nurse that it was on both sides and when I move around I feel better. Someone said that maybe some bad fluids were pulled off and that is how I should feel. Well, I spoke to my bones and they loved that fluid and would like it back. Seperation Anxiety. Ha!

I know a routine will be happening soon.... the sooner the better. I just received a call from "Baxter" and they will be delivering 11 cases tomorrow. Please remember one case per day. So next month, I will be getting about 30. Where will it all go?!?

I say the Serenity Prayer a lot. My mom would be proud!!